An Irishman was sent on his way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met him at the Pearly Gates. ‘I’m sorry,’ St Peter said; ‘But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.’

‘That’s cool’ said the Irishman, ‘What does the Entrance Exam consist of?’

‘Just three questions’ said St Peter.

‘Which are?’ asked the Irishman.

‘The first,’ said St Peter, ‘is, which two days of the week start with the letter ‘T’ ‘? The second is ‘How many seconds are there in a year?’ The third is ‘What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?’

‘Now,’ said St Peter, ‘Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.’

So the Irishman went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the Irishman and asked if he had considered the questions, to which he replied, ‘I have.’

‘Well then,’ said St Peter, ‘Which two days of the week start with the letter T?’

The Irishman said, ‘Today and Tomorrow.’

St Peter pondered this answer for some time and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

‘Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?’

St Peter went on, ‘how many seconds in a year?’

The Irishman replied, ‘Twelve!’

‘Only twelve?’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘How did you arrive at that figure?’

‘Easy,’ said the Irishman, ‘there’s the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.

St Peter looked at the Irishman and said, ‘I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.’ And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Irishman. ‘I’ll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?’

The Irishman replied: ‘Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.’

‘Really!’ exclaimed St Peter, ‘And what is the answer?’

‘It’s Andy.’

‘Andy??’

‘Yes, Andy,’ said the Irishman.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the Irishman, asked ‘How in God’s name did you arrive at THAT answer?’

‘Easy’ said the Irishman, ‘Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.’

And the Irishman entered Heaven…